Film log #8

Hi.

I've been locked in. Started a new job, and been grinding it out to leave a good impression. I think it's been working.

On weekdays, the city gets quiet. It's weird since there's so much to do. My world is moving so much faster, compared against the streets that grind to a halt most nights. Yet, in people's homes, they sit and create. Anxieties, loves, heartbreaks, hopes turn into something new. It's an honor to be witness to it all.

Some are trying to make a name for themselves, others are content being known by those around them. In Sesame and Lilies by John Ruskin, he theorizes that everyone just wants to be known by as many people as they can. I don't know if that's true, but it sure does sound nice.

I imagine many people just want to explore the infinities in the people around them, just as I hope to. It's frustrating that most days we are too busy to do so.

Still, people go out and put on a brave face. For some it's easy, and for others it's more difficult. In ethnographic work, it becomes evident very quickly that you can't ask people directly about most things. I'd like to ask people about how easy it is for them to go through these moments and then process them, but conversations rarely get so far. Instead, it has to be pieced together by the things they choose to share. Hopefully with time, the chapters are all read and put together in the right order..

And then I returned home. Matcha has arrived in El Sereno. It's still my home and everything I've known, but there are slight differences that catch me off guard.

The projects have since been built over. I can't say where those people have gone.

The sand in the park's playground has become rubber. The kids of Rose Hills won't experience their feet in the cold sand on a hot summer day.

There's a cybertruck roaming around. Fuck.

Time to head back to San Francisco.

Community was out in the Mission for Carnval, showing off who they are. They were cruising, dancing, laughing and drinking. When everything feels like it's crashing down, it's good reminders that the people around you have community too. They have groups you've never heard of for reasons they know better than you. They only have to make sense to each other, but we get to witness them together on this day.

Every color was present and in full display. The vibrance of the day feels like such a sharp contrast to the dark tones I see a lot of the time, whether it's a computer screen or the night sky.

To finish this roll off, people who know who they are. They know what they like, and wear it comfortably, loud and proud. I aspire.